SLU grad hopes poems help hurting teens

Janice L. Brabaw hopes that some juvenile poetry will help teenagers who are struggling with depression and might be suicide risks.

The native of Hermon and 2001 graduate of St. Lawrence University, Canton, has self-published "Universe, Disturbed," a collection of poems she started when she was 17 and finished at age 21.

Miss Brabaw, who is now 29, believes bad adolescent poetry, written "while drowning in a sea of raging hormones," is a rite of passage. But she found comfort and something to confide in between the pages of a Mead composition book as she wrote of her struggles.

She has traveled a rugged road to New York City, where she moved three weeks after 9-11 and is a freelance television production accountant, working on such shows as CBS's "Without a Trace."

She attempted suicide five times in five years; the last attempt being six years ago. In her teen years, she struggled with borderline personality disorder, social anxiety and depression.

As she wrote in her journal, as a teen she would often cry and sometimes cut her arms with a razor.

A snippet of graffiti on the cover of her book asks, "And why should I care?" If a young reader asks the question about the book, Miss Brabaw doesn't proclaim to have answers inside it. It's the power of writing that she cares about. She hopes teens will find the solace she found in writing down thoughts.

She will conduct "It Won't Always Be This Way: A Discussion of Teen Angst, Depression and Journal Therapy" Nov. 8 at Gouverneur Reading Room, 60 Church St. Later that day she will sign copies of her book at the Brewer Bookstore, 93 Park St., St. Lawrence University, Canton.

Also, on the evening of Nov. 8, she plans two readings. The first will take place at 6 during open microphone night at Partridge Cafe, 19 Miner St., Canton.

When considering publishing the collection of poetry, Miss Brabaw, who in 1999 was inducted into SLU's English department honor society, said she originally wanted to go through her poems and edit all of them.

"But the more I looked at them, they seemed more beneficial as raw, unedited versions," she said from her home in Brooklyn.

Miss Brabaw said she often had no one to talk to as she struggled with her mental issues. She hopes to raise awareness of mental illness in teenagers.

"A lot of people don't consider teens and children as suicide risks," she said. "A lot of kids with depression get dismissed."

Miss Brabaw has written another book but has not published it yet. She describes "And Again: A Memoir of a Life Disordered" as "a frank and honest portrait of a young woman living with borderline personality disorder."

In 2001, Miss Brabaw finished her screenplay, "The Space Between," which was part of her SLU thesis. She said the movie, which she directed and produced, was filmed in 2002 in New York City. It was originally meant to be a romantic comedy, but the finished product turned out to be a drama, she said.

On her Web site, Miss Brabaw notes that when she moved to New York City, she had $200 in her pocket, and before finding work in the television industry, she handed out fliers for weight loss products in Times Square and worked as a house cleaner, as a private antiquarian librarian and as a phone sex operator.

JOURNAL THERAPY DISCUSSION

WHAT: Discussion: "It Won't Always Be This Way: A Discussion of Teen Angst, Depression and Journal Therapy," conducted by Janice Brabaw, author of 'Universe, Disturbed.'

WHEN/WHERE: 10 a.m. Nov. 8, at Gouverneur Reading Room, 60 Church St. Miss Brabaw will sign copies of her book at 1 p.m. at Brewer Bookstore, 93 Park St., St. Lawrence University, Canton.

Also, on the evening of Nov. 8, Miss Brabaw plans two readings. The first will be at 6 p.m. during open microphone night at Partidge Cafe, 19 Miner St., Canton.

MORE INFO: For more information on Miss Brabaw and how to purchase her book: www.janicebrabaw.com