Move off Cornwall Island would help steamies love affair

The dispute that is keeping the Seaway International Bridge closed better end sometime soon. I don’t want to end up having to wait until winter to ride in the trunk of someone’s car across the frozen St. Lawrence River just to get my fix of steamies and fries.

Steamies are hot dogs at a place called Billy K’s. They are probably made of some kind of meat and, when dressed, wear a layer of something resembling cole slaw. Last time I was there, they were 69 cents Canadian. And while food snobs across North America will probably want to flog me with a natural casing wiener for saying so, they are gloriously delicious. Ditto about Billy’s (always made with fresh potatoes) fries.

But I cannot practically enjoy these culinary delights if I can’t get to Cornwall from Massena. And I cannot get to Cornwall from Massena as long as there is a protest near the bridge by Akwesasne Mohawks who say they don’t like Canada’s plan to arm Customs officers with pistols. http://www.watertowndailytimes.com/article/20090609/NEWS05/306099980

My only dog in this fight is sitting in a steam table at a restaurant in Cornwall. The easy position for me to take is the Mohawks are wrong and they should stop the protest and free me to once again slather malt vinegar on my Billy K’s fries whenever I want to make the drive into Canada.

I am not a Mohawk. I am a hungry white guy living in upstate New York. Americans armed with pistols make me antsy, but I just can’t get any level of fear going about Canadian officials toting handguns. Of all the groups with thumbs in this world, I put Canadians up there as the least dangerous. If Canadians were dogs, they’d be golden retrievers.

The Mohawks have a different idea about our friends to the nord. They say the Canadian Customs people are not that nice to them. Adding insult to the injury, when the guards are not being nice to the Mohawks, they are doing so from inside booths that are on Indian land. Hmmmmm...

Maybe the easy position is still easy, it’s just not the one I originally thought of. Maybe the easy position for me to take is the Canadian government is wrong and should move Customs off Cornwall Island and put it at the other end of the bridge on Cornwall – which is land it actually owns. That way it could arm its officers with pistols, rifles, beaver traps ... whatever it wanted, without offending the Mohawks. And I could get from Massena to Cornwall again without waiting for the river to freeze.

I can almost taste the steamies already.