REVIEW: Halloween II (2009) ONE STAR
Halloween II
Rated: R
Runtime: 101 minutes
Starring: Scout Taylor-Compton
My rating: 1 stars
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It is a serious problem when a writer-director thinks he is better than the established character. One cannot drag Michael Myers into their world. He must bring one to his.
Take note, Rob Zombie, writer-director of Halloween II. Are you listening?
Why was Michael Myers so feared when he first appeared in 1978? Because he stalked, played and then killed. He also had an awesome theme song that still elicits chills.
Zombie didn’t use the theme song until the end credits, and I suspect that’s because he knew he didn’t do the Halloween franchise justice with this latest addition.
Michael Myers is my favorite slasher. Rob Zombie is not my favorite director. Halloween II is not a good movie.
For one, I’m not even sure if Michael is actually alive or if he is a zombie-like, supernatural creature.
At the end of Zombie’s first film, Michael is shot in the head and killed. That’s where this film picks up. Michael is loaded into a truck and carried far away. The truck hits a cow en route and Michael awakens, escapes and no one knows what happened to the body… until one year later on Halloween when he returns.
That’s all fine. I’m OK with that. I can live with Michael escaping. I can, really. But the film opens with the definition of “White Horse,” which means that powerful dreams can control an individual, or something. I don’t know. Michael is possessed and looking to reunite Laurie (Scout Taylor-Compton), who we learned is his sister in the last film, with her dead mother.
Here’s the problem: Michael doesn’t stalk anyone. Was that not the fun of the original Halloween, and to a lesser extent Zombie’s Halloween? The creativity in the direction vanished. The story took a turn into Zombie’s head and when it came out needed to be flushed.
It’s one thing to create a film like this with an original character. It’s one thing to make your own movie, but the fact that Zombie used a hugely popular slasher character to cultivate interest is offensive. Fans will not be pleased.
I was irritated that my beloved villain was turned into something else for Zombie’s monetary advancement. He’s taken something away from the franchise, abusing the privilege to use Michael’s name in a film that doesn’t fit anywhere in the series history.
Not only has he ruined Michael, but the way the film ends suggests that there will be another Halloween-type film. It’s not necessarily with Michael. What Zombie has done here is take advantage of the Myers’ fan base and create something completely different, hoping to lure some of them into his twisted world. But loyal Zombie watchers know he can’t write or director a good, original horror film (House of 1,000 Corpses).
What he actually accomplished is the killing of everything that made Halloween great by turning Michael into Jason, Freddy or any other interchangeable slasher. Michael was always a “normal boy.” In this, he’s a gigantic monster who just kills at will instead. No one even puts up a fight. It’s pathetic.
I’m angry. I’m angry because I re-watched Zombie’s Halloween last week in preparation and thought it wasn’t bad. I’m angry because I re-watched the original Halloween and hoped for the latest to advance the franchise in a positive direction.
I’m angry because I didn’t even get to hear the theme song. I’m angry because Zombie spent too much time showing how gross a slaying can be rather than focusing on the suspense. I’m angry because, for me, Halloween cannot return to what it was for at least 20 years when the next horror director resurrects Michael Myers. Hopefully that person will do it with much more care. Zombie only cares about extending his career and gives the proverbial middle finger to Halloween fans across the country.
Goodbye, Halloween, may the franchise rest in peace. Congratulations Rob Zombie, you’ve successfully soiled the last of our great slashers. I now know what the voiceover guy meant when he said in your trailer, “Rob Zombie finishes his masterpiece.” You tried to kill it in Halloween, but I forgave you. Not this time. If you love Michael Myers, don’t go see Halloween II. One star.
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