Faded glory: Bonnie Castle Manor
ALEXANDRIA BAY — Back in the '80s, Bonnie Castle Manor ruled in all its glitz and glory as one of Alex Bay's finest restaurants and resorts.
It was billed as "Home of the Stars," with an enormous nightclub room that hosted acts like Woody Herman's polished big band, the highly entertaining Scintas and legendary has-beens like crooner Al Martino.
Except for an occasional event, that room is pretty much mothballed now, chairs and tables stacked up in corners the night we were there.
But the large, two-tiered dining room is still there, with its panoramic view of the St. Lawrence River, pleasure boats zipping by, international freighters lumbering by, majestic Boldt Castle so close you can practically reach out and touch it.
You enter the building by climbing up a 25-year-old staircase with tacky mirrored walls that leads to the bar, the same exact bar that was so crowded back then you were lucky to get a seat, let alone a drink.
Seating was not a problem last week. We were the only four at the 40-seat bar. We had the young bartender's undivided attention.
The bartender was good at making beers and vodka and tonics but had to get out the Old Mr. Boston Bartender's Guide to learn how to make a classic brandy Alexander.
Back in the old days, you could cut through the smoke at the bar with a knife, it was so thick. Of course, no one was smoking during our visit, but it sure was stuffy in there. The bartender told us the air-conditioning system had caught fire the previous week and they were waiting to get it fixed.
Apparently the sound system had experienced a similar fate at some point. On our way to the dining room, we noticed an iPod attached to a small boom box on top of the shiny Liberace-like baby grand piano. Live keyboard renditions of old standards were replaced by an old Frank Sinatra recording alternating with the entire soundtrack of "Phantom of the Opera" that played throughout the evening.
There was no problem getting a window seat in the 200-seat dining room since there was just one other table occupied. It sure looked impressive, though, each table set with black tablecloths and white napkins, completed with plastic red roses and plastic green ivy in the center.
Our assistant waitress/bus girl filled our water glasses and gave us a basket of sweet mini-muffins and warm rolls wiped down with garlic butter to get us started while we looked over the simple two-page menu.
With Bonnie Castle Manor's reputation for fine dining, we expected a little more than potato skins and chicken fingers and fried calamari for appetizers.
There was a little more, but not much more.
A small portion of garlic bread ($4.95) had a layer of gooey melted mozzarella cheese lightly browned on top, served with sweet marinara in the center of the three small pieces of the toast.
The only upscale appetizer was escargot-stuffed mushrooms ($7.95), a classic preparation with the mushroom caps swimming in butter with a mellow garlic flavor, which we appreciated.
The bartender, who was also our primary waitress, recommended the French onion soup. She likes it because they put bread in it and melt cheese all over the top.
We tried a cup ($2.95). It was hearty and noticeably beefy, with lots of onions and commercial croutons supporting buttery melted mozzarella.
Our waitress had to check and see what the soup of the day was. She knew it had been corn chowder yesterday.
Today's soup was New England clam chowder, the white kind. With our eyes closed (or open) we could have sworn it was corn chowder, yummy with lots of corn and carrot, potato and bacon.
Four of us searched the cup for clams and only found two little pieces. Not exactly what we expected.
Tossed salads were OK, nothing exceptional, nothing bad: torn iceberg lettuce with grated carrot and purple cabbage (like you get in bags at the grocery store), two grape tomatoes, two cucumber slices, one broccoli floret and a handful of non-homemade croutons. Salad dressings were also non-homemade, but they were tasty enough.
All of our dinners arrived tableside with those dated-looking silver warming covers over them, delivered by the entire service staff of three all dressed up in their pleated tux shirts and crooked bow ties.
Timing is everything. From the temporary house sound system, the Phantom's beloved Christine was screaming as our dinners were placed in front of us.
Or maybe that was us.
Each entrée was plated very plainly and lacked any presentation by the kitchen staff. I guess we expected a little more from a fine dining establishment.
Veal Parmesan ($21.95), listed as one of the "Specialties of the Manor," was a thin piece of very tender veal (you could cut it with a fork), lightly breaded and smothered in a homemade spaghetti sauce, plopped on a huge pile of angel hair pasta.
With seafood choices like fresh halibut, sea bass and ahi tuna readily available to restaurants these days, you'd think Bonnie Castle could offer something more exciting than shrimp scampi, blackened salmon and haddock two ways.
We got haddock one of the two ways, pecan encrusted ($19.95). The finely ground pecan coating was very nondescript. In conjunction with the mild-tasting fish, it seemed to need another something to kick it up a bit.
Steak Diane ($21.95) was a little more exciting, but at the same time a little disappointing.
It's a classic recipe whereby a thin piece of beef tenderloin is quickly pan-seared, usually tableside, with butter, shallots, mustard, Worcestershire and herbs, and usually mushrooms, flamed with brandy and finished with heavy cream to make a pretty good sauce.
We understood why it wasn't flamed tableside. Someone would have gotten hurt.
We didn't understand why the beef could be cooked only to medium-well. Our waitress said it's because the piece of meat was so thin.
All that aside, the well-done piece of tenderloin still had a reasonable amount of tenderness to it, and the mushroomless sauce was tasty.
Carnivores looking for something less fancy-schmancy can order an 11-ounce strip steak for $22.95 or a 14-ounce slab of prime rib for $25.95.
Another choice we selected from the list of specialties was cioppino ($25.95), an Italian fish stew loaded with shrimp, scallops, lobster and chunks of haddock. There was no shortage of seafood in it.
Cioppino traditionally is simmered in seafood stock with tomatoes, clam broth and white wine. Bonnie Castle Manor's seafood stock was heavy on tomato, more like a spicy, muddled up marinara sauce. It could have used more clam broth and white wine to make it a little more distinctive.
Sides of rice and baked potato were average. Garlic mashed potatoes were the real deal with a mild hint of garlic and the potato skins peeking though. Vegetable of the day, canned peas, left something to be desired.
Our waitresses were enthused about our dessert choices.
Homemade carrot cake had a dense texture with carrot, raisins and nuts smothered in a rich cream cheese frosting. Homemade cheesecake was also very rich, with blackberry sauce drizzled on the plate and lots of dots of piped whipped topping (the girls went wild with the pastry bag) circling the piece of cake. A boxed chocolate cake came with a sugary rich chocolate frosting that was enough to spike anyone's sugar level to an all-time high.
Desserts cost $4.95 each.
Dinner for four came to $129 before tip with a round of drinks adding to that total.
The view of the St. Lawrence River at Bonnie Castle can't be beat. And if you're stuck in the '80s and enjoy tacky Catskill-like resort ambiance, this could be the place for you.
But when you could cook a better meal yourself by watching the Food Network for a couple of nights, there's little reason to come to Bonnie Castle other than the view.
The glitz is still there, but the glory's gone.
You can contact Walter E. Siebel via e-mail: wsiebel@wdt.net.
Bonnie Castle Manor
31 Holland St.
Alexandria Bay, N.Y.
1 (800) 955-4511
www.bonniecastle.com
A year-round stuck-in-the-'80s restaurant with a timeless panoramic view of Boldt Castle and the St. Lawrence River.
HOURS: Open at 5 p.m. for dinner seven days a week, serving until 8 p.m.,
"9 o'clock if we're really busy."
RATING: 2 forks
