NEWS FEEDS
REVIEW: All About Steve (2009) ONE STAR
All About Steve
Rated: Pg-13
Runtime: 90 minutes
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Bradley Cooper.
My rating: 1 stars
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I don't normally take a few hours after I've viewed a movie to write a review. But that's what I've done today, and I've forgotten the title.
It stars Sandra Bullock and Bradley Cooper. I do know that. She's a nerdy crossword puzzle maker and he's a news cameraman.
All About Steve. I got it!
That's probably not a good sign.
Anyway, it's a horrible film. By horrible, I mean it's a comedy that no one in the theater laughed at. It's a comedy with no chemistry and every joke forced. It's a comedy dumped on us Labor Day weekend, where studios hope the weather's nice so people don't see, and thus, don't remember anything about Steve.
What the studio didn't realize was that even after viewing the train wreck, no one would remember it. This film is vapor, and the characters so loathsome that the audience will gladly leave them and their story in the theater.
Bullock plays Mary, a neurotic – some would argue psychotic – woman obsessed with hunting down and dating Steve (Bradley Cooper). She's so insane she creates a crossword where all the clues are about Steve. Whatever. It wasn't funny.
She's pathetic, annoying and the audience immediately hates her, right down to those disgusting red boots. She follows Steve all over the country, trying to make him fall in love with her. She's so desperate, the audience wants to tell her it'll call her next week.
It's not Bullock's fault this movie tanked.
It isn't Cooper's fault either. It's writer Kim Barker's fault.
The characters are too irrational, too ridiculous, too unreal to even come close to taking seriously. The story itself is preposterous, and Steve's character setup so against how he ends up that it makes the entire film a total disgrace.
In it's opening weekend it didn't crack the top-10 box office numbers. It's swept under the rug and will be out of theaters in two weeks. It will make no money and is a waste of time, energy and money. One star.
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Where it's playing:
Canton/PotsdamSHOWTIMES
Watertown SHOWTIMES
