When ashes gather dust

The state wants some uniformity when it comes to cremation. The state Department of State's Division of Cemeteries is developing new forms for all funeral homes to fill out with loved ones of the deceased when cremation is requested.

The "Authorization for Cremation and Disposition" will be used by all funeral homes across the state beginning sometime after March 1. Currently, each funeral home has its own form for the "designation of intentions" for cremated remains.

One thing the new forms won't address is an old problem: cremated remains that are left behind at funeral homes, never picked up by relatives.

Bruce M. Bezanilla, owner and operator of Bezanilla-McGraw Funeral Home, Carthage, and president of the Jefferson-Lewis Funeral Directors Association, said no amount of legislation can address such a human foible as neglecting to pick up remains.

"It's disrespectful, in my mind," he said.

The new forms in development by the Department of State's Division of Cemeteries will address what will become of the cremated remains — burial, entombment or return to the family — and must be signed by "a person in control of disposition," such as the next of kin.

"It will make things better with these new forms," said Jeffrey Frederick of Frederick Bros. Funeral Home, Theresa, which operates a crematorium. "Every funeral home now has their own form. Some of them are basic — they don't take a law degree to cipher. But others are pretty involved with fine print, a couple of pages and in triplicate."

In Jefferson, Lewis and St. Lawrence counties, there are two crematoriums: besides Frederick Bros.', there's one at Watertown's Brookside Cemetery. Mr. Frederick said the next nearest one is in Central Square in Oswego County.

After bodies are cremated, the remains, in most cases, are returned to funeral homes for pickup. State law says funeral homes must hang on to them for 120 days.

"The funeral director doesn't have to hold them indefinitely," said Department of State spokesman Joel Barkin.

But many do.

"It blows me away," said Mr. Bezanilla. "I don't think there's a funeral home out there that doesn't have a set."

He said he has "one or two."

"I hang on to them; I think most of us do," said Terry R. Jetty, owner of Jetty Funeral Home, Clayton. "I'm not going to monkey around with any resulting lawsuit."

Karl W. Hax, a funeral director in Pulaski, said he got more aggressive about a dozen years ago to have relatives to pick up remains. He launched a phone campaign to find relatives.

"I had to do that," he said. "People thought if they didn't come back after two or three years, it'd be OK."

Mr. Hax said he doesn't like feeling liable for the remains. "If I had a fire or something, what would I do?" he asked.

He has about four sets of them. "They're in a storage area, out of the way," he said.

Mr. Jetty said he has about 20 unclaimed remains, with at least one set dating back at least 25 years.

"I know them all by name," he said. "I don't get too excited about it."

Some of the remains have stories behind them.

"One is from California," he said. "His wife wanted nothing to do with him."

Mr. Jetty said he installed two shelves to hold his collection of unclaimed remains.

"One of these days, we'll get them all taken care of," he said.

The Chicago Tribune reported last month that Chicago-based Cremation Association of North America conducted a survey in 2006 that found that about 1 percent of cremated remains were never picked up. Of those that were, about 38 percent were kept at home, 37 percent were buried, 21 percent were scattered and about 3 percent were placed in a columbarium, which is a mausoleum vault with niches for urns.

Taking some time to consider how to dispose of the cremated remains is beneficial for relatives, Mr. Jetty explained.

"I tell people not to make a rash move about what to do about the ashes," he said.

He recalled one case in which some cremated remains were buried. But the man's wife, who had plans to be buried next to her husband, didn't want to be cremated. The man's cremated ashes were dug up and reburied in the ground near his wife when the time came.