GOP presidential candidate coming to Watertown

Remember that time I was doing some complainin' about how we get no love from presidential candidates?

John Davis is the answer to my prayers.

The "conservative Republican" presidential candidate, who has never held elected office, is going to visit Watertown on July 19 at 8:56 a.m., though we're not yet sure where.

When his press liaison contacted me, I dutifully pretended to know who he is. I've spent the last five minutes trying to figure it out, and here's what I can report: He loves God and America, he's a graduate of the school of hard knocks (no year specified), he also loves his family and his country and his community, and also, freedom. And he'll see you at the White House.

Mr. Davis, a Grand Junction, Colo. native, also likes to wield a big red, white and blue wrench with him wherever he goes, a testament to his dayjob: building homes.

He's also apparently not a huge fan of having a high IQ.

This, from the Core Values section of his website:

"How about IQ? Should a president be someone so smart he or she can't communicate with the people of the nation? Or should he have a lower IQ so as to understand the simple things in life? Or perhaps and average IQ and able to understand a little bit of both?"

OK, I should stop picking on him. Because he does have one position that will earn him big ups in the north country: "citizenship for law-abiding aliens." That's become a big issue around here; farmers are trying to figure out whether their entire workforce will be deported.

We'll see you in Watertown, Mr. Davis.

UPDATE:

Nancy Martin, the GOP chief in St. Lawrence County, tells me that Mr. Davis will also be in Canton on that day, at 10:40 a.m. They still haven't figured out particulars on the "where," though.